I'm hit! I'm hit!

Sounds like something you'd hear in a war movie, doesn't it? Well... had you been with me at 5:45 this morning, you would've heard it. Well, not really, but I might as well have said it. Details to come....

First of all, it's worth mentioning that I did pass my EMT exam and I'm now working with my field training officer (FTO) and his partner. The written exam was pretty easy. The practical exam was a little more challenging for me, as I tend to get nervous when I'm being graded.

So, I'm more or less functioning as an EMT now. I've started taking the lead on some calls now and I'm getting more comfortable doing the job.

Ok... sorry.... back to today.

It's 5:30 am and we're out on the streets, ready to go to our first post assignment and eventually on to our first call. The past few days have been pretty slow this early, with our first call not coming until 8:00 or so. My first mistake was assuming that that would be the case today. I told myself I'd just wait until we got to the first post for the day to grab something to drink and eat.

Well, 5 minutes after leaving the parking lot, we get a call. Great. It's gonna be a busy day.

The call was for 'person unconscious'. As I've learned, these calls can go either way. It could either be a legitimate unconscious person or a homeless person just trying to get some sleep. Unfortunately, it was for the former and not the latter.

We pull up on scene - fire department was there already, of course - and are told that a woman has passed out in the bathroom. Hmmmm.... lemme see.... passed out in the bathroom.... where do most people pass out in the bathroom.... and what are they doing when they pass out?

I'll give you a hint. The answer to the last question is "number two".

Well, suffice to say that that was the case. Also, the bathroom was really small. Add those together and you've got a messy situation on your hands. Add in two medics and a firefighter trying to get her off of said throne and out of the bathroom and you've got yourself an even messier situation.

Unfortunately, I happened to be the one with my hands under her arms dragging her off the pot. We had placed a sheet under her to try and contain some of the... um... waste material. Well, the sheet kind of ripped. And, when it did.... my pant legs happened to be in the line of fire, so to speak.

So, once we got her to the hospital, it was time to head back to our main post so I could get a clean pair of pants and wash mine in the biohazard washing machine. Did I say that it was going to be a good day? Evidently, word travels fast around our service. Every time I saw one of my friends after that, they would say "I heard you had a fun morning...". And of course, I got the inevitable "Hey... it's Mr. Poopy-pants!"

Well, that was only the beginning... literally and figuratively.

After a couple of routine calls, we got called to a traffic accident. We arrive to find a car with almost no damage that was supposedly rear-ended. Of course, the driver was complaining of horrible neck and back pain. Of course.

So... I walk up to assess the guy and the firefighter approaches me and tells me that he speaks French and no English. Ok... no problem... I'll just speak really loudly and slowly. Well, I lean in the car and ask him his name. "Abdul", he says. Ok yet again.... not generally a French name, but there are Moroccan people that speak French. Alright... well, let's get him on a spine board, get him in the truck and get going to the hospital.

Once we were in the truck, I decide to probe to see if he speaks Arabic (which, in case you're unaware.... I speak semi-fluently). Well, guess what... he does. Sooo.... I actually got brush the cobwebs off my Arabic today. I translated for the remainder of our trip to the hospital and for the Dr. once we arrived.

I guess that $250,000 the government spent to teach me Arabic was well spent. Your tax dollars at work!